Hamletcan

But probably doing it again tonight, anyways.

I am a stupid asshole.

Fuck.

The four letters that best describe what’s going through my brain at this very moment. I’ve seen the darkest part of a human mind, and it belongs to Crispin Hellion Glover, you know, the dad from Back to the Future. If this were a typical film, the points that would mostly distress me would be the sound quality(dismal), the special effects(non existent), the continuity(what is it?), and the cast(They all have Down Syndrome.) This is not a typical type of movie.

I’m pretty sure the founder of the Church of Satan did the score. That’s not a joke. Throughout there are sexual images of Shirley Temple as a Nazi, Down Syndrome sex, countless snails salted and mutilated, blackface(Robert DOWNY Jr.), dolls talking, snails screaming, and professional porn actresses with exceptionally large breasts, wearing animal masks(which wasn’t all that bad, up until the part where they started doing their job on a person with Down Syndrome.) I’m pretty sure my innards are bleeding. If they find me dead tomorrow, it’s from massive internal bleeding brought on by blunt-force crispin to the head. Very similar to the way the Down Syndrome cast would often smash rocks over each others’ heads to kill each other. I was made so uncomfortable by this movie, that when I looked down and saw that I was drinking out of someone else’s water cup, I almost threw up.

All-in-all, it was a heartwarming experience. If you manage to see it(which is nearly impossible with the way C.H.G keeps it under lock and key.) Make sure to watch it with support, and just to throw everyone off, half way through the movie, when something interesting happens, go “OOOOOOOOooooh.” As if you just figured out what was going on. I guarantee you’ll have the captivation of everyone around you who’re balls crazy trying to figure it all out.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot tonight, and I think that at last, I’m now prepared enough to sit through the Star Wars Christmas Special.

A new age of man.

Except for Dragonheart.

He’s a B actor in big Hollywood movies that are meant to be big, but they always fail miserably. Why? Because Dennis Quaid is in them. Let me give you a list.

The Rookie, The Day After Tomorrow, Flight of the Phoenix, American Dreamz, G.I. Joe, and the up and coming “Blockbuster,” Legion.

I just realized I hate Dennis Quaid. Since he’s going to be in Legion, it doesn’t even have a chance at being a goth-kid cult classic like “Underworld.” He ruins things (Except for Dragonheart.)

I feel really bad for Paul Bettany. Yeah, he’s in that movie, too.

nervousrex:

showerbeers:

the-mu:

can-you-keep-a-secret:

fuckyeahtumblarityhelp:

offwhitepinstripes:

babynicko:

heysingloudernow:

rantsraveandreblogs:

chocolatemicroscopes:

tigers and sharks in my pants.

baby one more time in my pants
FOUR FOR YOU BRITNEY COCO

black cat in my pants

underdog in my pants

the consequence in my pants.

LMAO! Pretty Pathetic in my pants x]

freaking smokin popes *high five!*

supermassive black hole in my pants.

oh wut?

ferret in my pants

ok

Reckless Abandon…IN MY PANTS

I need your touch…in my pants

Hah! These Filthy Hands in my pants.

Chick-flick movie wrong.

And I’m very happy now,

But I feel still feel retarded for being chick-flick movie wrong in high school.

With only the internet.

FUCK YOU ASSHOLES

“The following program has been brought to you by Hofstra University.”

GET OUT OF MY COMPUTER AND SPEND MY GODDAMN MONEY ON YOUR GODDAMN STUDENTS

vindiesel:

I made this just to claim the name vindiesel,

I have no idea what I’m doing?

Whoever she is. She’s doing it right.

And a shell holder.

And a sunglasses holder.