Hamletcan: Archive

Jan 1st

Dec 31st

AWESOME

My grandfather commended me on how I dealt with a skinhead in a bar tonight. So I got to go out to a bar with My sisters, and grandpa Plunkett. And this skinhead is being a dick at the bar and comes up to us and starts spewing his nonsense at our table, uninvited. I grab of my empty Rogue Dead Guy bottle, get up and argue with him to back off, and he backs down and leaves the bar. (he is about a...

Dec 29th

82 notes

I Have Been Too Sober For Too Many Days

huskerdont: kelmitchell: hamletcan: huskerdont: dogsdriveinhotcars: hamletcan: Not to mention, without my female companion. This could get dangerous. Rhode Island is sort of like Vietnam or a family television show hosted by Bob Saget, and all I want to do is be out. I’ve got one more family birthday to deal with tomorrow, then I’m out for sure. I’ll be New York bound. Now, who wants...

Dec 28th

I Have Been Too Sober For Too Many Days

huskerdont: dogsdriveinhotcars: hamletcan: Not to mention, without my female companion. This could get dangerous. Rhode Island is sort of like Vietnam or a family television show hosted by Bob Saget, and all I want to do is be out. I’ve got one more family birthday to deal with tomorrow, then I’m out for sure. I’ll be New York bound. Now, who wants to get black-out drunk with me, while I...

Dec 28th

I Have Been Too Sober For Too Many Days

Not to mention, without my female companion. This could get dangerous. Rhode Island is sort of like Vietnam or a family television show hosted by Bob Saget, and all I want to do is be out. I’ve got one more family birthday to deal with tomorrow, then I’m out for sure. I’ll be New York bound. Now, who wants to get black-out drunk with me, while I shout the lyrics to 90’s...

Dec 28th

107 notes

Dec 27th

Rejoice! You Can Now Buy Nirvana and Slipknot...

This Christmas, I was given two articles of clothing that had no business, whatsoever, hanging out with my other clothes. So, today I went to JC Penny to return them, and to my dismay, I discovered a disappoint or two. Now, I know Slipknot still makes music, and I know they’re not trying too hard to “stick it too the man” anymore. But I thought for sure that with spooky masks...

Dec 26th

Dec 25th

3 notes

Dec 25th

I Wonder How Andrew W.K. Celebrates Christmas.

Dec 25th

Amanda and I unknowingly Made Each Other Mix Tapes...

The best present.

Dec 24th

6 notes

Dec 23rd

121 notes

BRB Unfollowing People For Stupidity

Which is ironic, because my Tumblr is a breeding ground for the inane.

Dec 19th

ATTN: NONSENSE

studentloansforbeermoney: NOODLES HAS A TUMBLR!!!! I JUST DISCOVERED IT IN MY FOLLOWERS PLEASE FOLLOW HIM. Don’t believe. Noodles is a myth.

Dec 19th

12 Results Found For Vin Diesel Pillow

So, apparently, when searching Vin Diesel goods on Ebay, the most popular non-movie items are pillows scanned with the likeness of Mr. Diesel himself. I mean, I guess I can understand the need to imagine you’re laying down with your dream dude, but it’s a little frightening. I just imagine a 31 year old woman, with braces and headgear, who wears full pajamas with teddy bears printed on...

Dec 19th

I Always Feels Guilty

when I feel the need to tell someone to “grow up.”

Dec 18th

“my notes consist of a picture of a cat labeled “cation” so i guess...”

– Danielle

Dec 18th

“And I will rage on, until my beer is warm. I will rage on.”

Dec 18th

Bring Back the Zeppelin

huskerdont: kinochestvo: hamletcan: I’ve determined that, since I can’t(realistically) live in a space ship, I want the next best thing. I want to bring back the luxury airship, the zeppelin, and I want to live in one. It’d be pretty cheap to stay afloat, it’s navigating storms, and landing that’s the big deal. I need for this to happen. I need to be the captain of my own sky vessel. ...

Dec 16th

8 notes

Bring Back the Zeppelin

I’ve determined that, since I can’t(realistically) live in a space ship, I want the next best thing. I want to bring back the luxury airship, the zeppelin, and I want to live in one. It’d be pretty cheap to stay afloat, it’s navigating storms, and landing that’s the big deal. I need for this to happen. I need to be the captain of my own sky vessel. (Related) ...

Dec 16th

8 notes

Dec 15th

Dec 14th

Would Tuna Taste Better With Goldfish Crackers In...

drwhat: hamletcan: I have 40 cans of Tuna and 5 bags of goldfish crackers. Also, a massive container of mayo. You’ve really gone you’re whole life without eating tuna and goldfish together? It’s very good. Okay, next question. Is it a good movie-snack?

Dec 14th

4 notes

Would Tuna Taste Better With Goldfish Crackers In...

I have 40 cans of Tuna and 5 bags of goldfish crackers. Also, a massive container of mayo.

Dec 14th

4 notes

Dec 14th

Dec 12th

Today My Paleontology Professor Photoshopped Me...

Accompanied by a girl in the department who is grabbing my thigh. The teacher himself, in 3D specs, shopped onto Dr. Evil, and another girl from the Department shopped onto mini me. The title reads “Sean Goggin” “Geological Man of Mystery” “You only sieve twice” It is the greatest gift ever.

Dec 12th

JURASSIC PARK MAPS →

Link complements of Judd.

Dec 11th

someone broke into my garage

huskerdont: synecdoche: and stole one of our small dirtbikes and my brother’s gloves. it was most likely kids because all of the motorcycles (and helmets and stuff) are completely untouched. and no one spray-painted racist shit all over the place like last time someone broke in. but my brother is really, really fucking pissed because it was probably kids that know we keep stuff like that in...

Dec 11th

8 notes